One Year Anniversay

by - October 09, 2017

Yesterday K and I celebrated our one year anniversary.  Before I go on reflecting, I want to say a huge thank you to so many people, my mom for being there for me through the wedding planning process and loving us whole heartily,  my dad for walking me down the isle and being my first love, my brother and my sister in law for reading the sweetest readings at our wedding and being so important to us and to my best friend, Taft who has always supported K and I.

There is something both surreal and totally normal feeling about this first year of marriage.  I never had a romanticized view of marriage, but more so saw it as the next step in our relationship.  I've mentioned before in some of my Wedding Wednesday post's that I never really wanted a wedding but what I might not have mentioned is that I never really wanted to get married.  I just don't believe that there is one person put on this planet for everyone.  Like what if I have another 'soulmate' on the other side of the world.  I also have felt very stifled by boyfriends in the past and I did not want to get married in fear of loosing myself, my identity and my personal freedom.  I really love to march to the beat of my own drum.  What I've learned is that yes, I might have another 'soulmate' on the other side of the world but K is my 'lifemate', which is more important.  A 'lifemate' is the one you choose to travel through life with, 'a soulmate' is an unrealistic idea, in my opinion.  He makes me feel like I am home (how corny, I know).  In all honesty I am always happy when I am with him.  Even when I'm so aggravated I can't see straight, I'm still really happy underneath it all.  When it comes to my identity, I've learned that communication is key.  Actually communication is key to so many relationship issues and is always a work in progress.  Everyday we are learning to communicate better and somehow that makes us even happier.  

I was 29 years old when I first met K (I am am 34 now) and had not dated seriously in 6 or 7 years.  I was in a serious relationship in my early twenties that ended badly and I just didn't date after it.  I was insecure after that relationship and unhappy.  I was not comfortable being me, for years, it took a lot of work to get myself to secure happy place.  Don't get me wrong, I'd go out and have fun, I'd make out with guys but I never wanted to see those guys a second time.  Then when I moved from the city to the sub burbs and felt more confident I found myself wanting to date and meet someone.  So what did I do, I signed up for online dating.  K and I met online, on Ok Cupid, on a Sunday night back in April of 2013.  I actually was talking to a him and another guy that night online and had set up a date with both of them.  I went out with K first on a Monday night.  I was supposed met the second guy that Friday but cancelled the date with him after K kissed me at the end of our first date.  We've been inseparable since. 

My advice to girls who are looking for love or who may not really believe in the soulmate thing, or who are single and wondering when will love happen for me, is... be honest with yourself, know what you want and express it, love yourself, you are beautiful.  Happiness does not wear a watch, it does not have a calendar and happiness does not come easily, you have to work for it.  

Thank you for taking the time to listen to me ramble, I have a lot to say when it comes to what I've learned in life  and in my relationships but in no way consider myself to have a professional opinion.  I simply have my opinion and am just hoping you might relate.  All my wedding photos were taken by the lovely Steph from Hazel Lining.

Have a great day!

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